On The Domestic Front: Concept of Care

About a year ago Ernesto and I went to the movies to see "Babies" Y and I highly recommend it to everyone. Since seeing that movie I have been very interested in the concept of care, especially when it comes to caring for children. I do not think there is one right way to care for a child, and having witnessed "care" in developing nations I have grown to be a bit critical of the amount of doting that people do over their children in the U.S. I have noticed that the children in Kenya cry a lot less, are far more self-reliant: they self-sooth, entertain themselves, walk and feed themselves much earlier than children in the States. It really is amazing. However, there is one thing that I have noticed in Kenya that I do not like. I am only finding this to be true of wealthy Kenyans, but there is this concept that really fat babies are healthy babies. Now, I know in the United States we also like babies to be a little fat, but these babies are obese. It is really bad. On Christmas day I watched this lady feed her fat baby a big bowl of food. The baby made it halfway through and started to turn her head when the spoon came toward her mouth. Most parents would understand that to mean that the baby no longer wants to eat; but this mother was determined that her child finished the bowl of food. She continued to force feed the pudgy little child until the baby was screaming because she did not want to eat; but the mom kept right on feeding her. Actually, the baby crying made it easier for her mother to feed her because she was opening her mouth to cry and involuntarily swallowing. Eventually the bowl of food was finished. The mother was satisfied. She picked up the baby to change her shirt. As soon as she took one step the baby vomited all over her mother. Justice was served. I was horrified watching this mother overfeed her child. Do you think the baby vomiting helped her get the message? Not at all. Less than 10 minutes later the mother had a bottle in her mouth. So what does this lead to? Well about every well-off person in Kenya has a house full of little morbidly obese children. It is heart-wrenching. These children have rolls all over their little bodies. I kept staring at this one little boy because I was in disbelief by how big he was. He had breasts that were at least a B cup, huge "ham-hock" arms, fat thighs, he even had extra fat in his earlobes (seriously) and he was only 9 years old. Do his parents fail to acknowledge the health and social consequences for extreme obesity? I really think his parents should be convicted of child abuse...but in a country where many people go without enough food, who would dare criticize this family for flaunting their ability to feed their child more than enough? Today, I went back to the center to volunteer but was sent to Mama Mary's, the coordinators, house to help prepare for her guest from America. She is expecting 10 students and 2 professors from a University in New York and her house was not ready. All the center employees and I cleaned out closets, changed sheets, swept, mopped floors, went to the market and redecorated, all day long. I really admire the way many Africans care for their homes. Even though many don't have much, they do take care of what little they have. I respect that. Oh, and back to the baby thing. Mary's grandson, Abednego, is another overweight Kenyan baby. Today his Nanny was in the middle of overfeeding him and he tried to defend himself by whining and turning his head but the Nanny kept feeding him. Eventually, he stopped swallowing the food. She shoved more and more food in his mouth and he simply would not swallow. To his good fortune, his aunt from South Africa came and snatched him away from the Nanny, "You have overfed this child. He is not hungry! Don't make himeat! He needs to diet. Look at his face and legs! This baby is too fat!". I was so relieved! I wasn't crazy. These children are miserable, and someone else has noticed it too. Another thing that is really funny is that Kenyan parents, rich and poor, all wrap their babies in lots of clothes when the go outside. They put wool hats, gloves, long-sleeves shirts and long pants on them...and then they wrap them in a blanket...I don't know how everyone has failed to realize that these children live in AFRICA and the sun is blazing and it is hot ALL THE TIME. The little babies actually sweat under the clothes. It is weird to see a baby sweat.